Broken but not trash

My owl, one of two in the set of bookends, I have had these since I was 5. They are much older than that though they were my dads he had them when he was a teen.  I cherish these not because of the item itself, although I do love owls they are awesome animals. But there is a story behind this lone owl.

 Once when I was going to bed there was a lot of clothes on the floor and on my bed along with toys and stuffed animals, so I was cleaning up my room. I was lazily doing so, it was late and I really didn't want to put my clothes in the dresser. My drawers were badly filled, all wadded up and thrown in there in a rush, because playing is so much more fun than putting up laundry.

So as I was getting ready for bed I put my clothing on top of my dresser where i had others stuff like toys I wanted for the morning and papers I was saving and the owls and a couple of other things I had saved, a smooth rock and keys I would pretend with.

AS i was rushing to get into bed, my mom came in and said that I need to hurry up and stop lolly gagging around and go to sleep. so I picked up the rest of my toys and threw them in the closet and the cloths from my bed and threw them on top[ of my dresser. Then I slid into bed. As my mom closed the door, the owl pictured above, fell onto my bed and rolled off to the floor, breaking in several pieces.

I was so mad and scared, afraid what was to come next. I knew I was in trouble, because I was told not to do that and to be careful with the owls. My mom and then dad came in to find out what the crash was. They were of course mad and upset that it was broken. Mom cleaned up the owl pieces and was about to throw them away, yelling at me for being so lazy and careless with breakable things.

My dad stopped her and looked at me holding the pieces in a basket that mom had thrown them in and said to me. we aren't going to throw it away I can mend this back together, it will take some time and patience but it will be fixed. I want you to remember this, these were mine and  I gave them to you to take care of not to just throw stuff on it carelessly. He noticed I was crying and knew I was sincere when I said sorry. 

He fixed the owl to almost new. i looked at it as he placed it on my dresser next to the other one, I had cleaned up my room every day not wanting anything else to break. It took a few days for the pieces to fix together and glue to dry but I made sure that my room was cleaned and I learned a few things with this broken owl.

1. Careless work or thinking leads to a mess
2. Fixing things takes time and patience
3. Being broken doesn't mean its a waist
4.  My dad loved me enough to allow me to learn
5. Forgiveness is fast when Love is in the right place

It took several hours of placing the pieces together and glue them and hold the pieces into place to allow them to fit together. just like it takes time to mend a broken heart or spirit.

We can try and try to fix things on our own, but it takes the right person at the right time to fix things correctly. My dad had calm steady hands, my mom and I are always in a rush and don't think of how things can be mended, it takes a good father to know, see and hear.

Our Holy Father Lord Jesus Christ knows just the right time to fix our spirit and heart and soul after we have been hurt so badly. We want it to be fixed fast, or like me when I was waiting for the owl to be fixed I would look at the unbroken one wishing I had not been so careless. 

In this case I caused my own pain i needed to learn a a very helpful thing, if I had put my stuff up the first time i would not have broken the owl in the first place, I learned not to throw a lot of stuff on my dresser. 

There are times many times in my life that I have been hurt by other people some major hurts and some minor hurts. I have learned that the small arguments or fights we have with people is always forgivable fast, I rarely stay mad a people.

As for the major issues I am now 45 years old, it has taken most of my life to forgive my abusers, the reasons behind them hurting me are many and deep.

Like my dad did with me when I broke the owl although it was his before mine, he didn't get mad fly off the handle, but was calm and collected, thought about every word he said and action he did.

We need to do the same, when things happen or when we think back on things that have happened to us. We need to stay calm and collected and remember that God is in control he was in control then and is now.

 Now the other thing I learned was this:

When  was looking at the owl and the days after dad brought it back to me. I looked at the cracks on it and I said to dad, "You can still see the cracks on the side."

Dad said, "Well, when thing get broken they don't go back the exact same way as they were before."

Knowing my dad as I do, He was speaking more than just the owl. I look at the cracks still today and remember what he said.

We may be broken with cracks on the side where only we know about, but we have a good, good father who knows how and when to place the broken pieces back together, we need to have patience.

Does neurological and mental health issues disqualify a person for a career?

This is a subject often thought about but rarely said aloud. That is until Hillary Clinton passed out on 9-11-2016. Since that day it seems that it is every media blog or show’s main purpose to get a chance at having their say.

With my history of having seizures and now mental illness, I have too suffered the mainstream stigma of fear inspired speech, It borders the line of disregard too. While I was in law enforcement, i had an episode to where my arm and muscles in my neck were not moving, so I was taken to the hospital. And just over a ten hour period, I had several calls from my co-employees and fellow detention officers calling, not to ask if i was okay, but to make sure I was really sick. They didn’t believe me. It went as far as to bring up my CT scan and MRI and EEG reports to show that there was activity causing the problem.  The stigma of brain health was alive and well in the 90’s and I suffered the embarrassment of the lies and growing stigmatizes stories to go from one officer to another until I was called into the office, while in recuperation at home to the Lt’s office to go under a personal review to see where and if I still was able to do anything. To make a long story short I was moved to the elevator as my position, thus ending my law enforcement career.

Now was I having seizures, yes. Could they be stopped yes, they were controlled using med. I was able to work the desk and computer jobs, but no I had to be hid away in the elevator, and why STIGMA!!!

Stigma says we are afraid of you now that you have an illness. Stigma says you are not worthy of holding a job and cannot return to human life. Stigma marks a disgrace on that person with neurological and mental illnesses.

Now back to Mrs. Clinton. I have seen so called christian blogs call her unfit because she passed out, because she needed help up the stairs and because she wore glasses used  to help people with seizure activity and/or Alzheimer's.

Does this mean she is unfit for duty?

Franklin D. Roosevelt had polio and went to hot springs a lot, was he deemed unfit for duty.

MANY, MANY members of the armed forces live with headaches and much more neurological and mental illnesses, left undiagnosed and some diagnosed but they still were in the armed forces, able to do their job. And Why? Because the needed to.

I have heard many times over the last four years of veterans telling the doctors in the army, navy marines that they have recurring headaches and loss of speech and inability to think clear. The answer they are given take a tylenol and go to sleep you will be fine tomorrow. With one gentlemen tomorrow was the same as the next several years. Headaches that lead to attitude changes and irrational thinking. And now is diagnosed with Bipolar and alzheimer's. Is he unfit for duty now yes, why. Lack of listening by the drs. In the Navy.

Why was I deemed unfit for my job as a desk clerk, lack of concern and pride of what it would look like if they had a detention officer with seizures.

People are arrogant, unlearned and just uncaring for people when it comes to these two subjects. And we as patients know that. I am not at all surprised that Hillary Clinton kept this health trouble to herself. The reason is for the same reon why many teenagers don’t come clean with what they are into whatever the reason because they are scared what others may think.

Hillary CLinton wants to be President of the United States. Does her having seizures or colon problems or any other illness keep her from serving her duties as President?

Does anyone who have neurological disorders or mental illnesses mean they cannot serve in the career the choose? Does it mean they are not knowledgeable?

The answer is always a big fat yes.

WHY?

STIGMA.

No matter what we do or say, Stigma will rule the land.

Why?

Stigma is the law of the land in atheism. Survival of the fittest.

And this United States of America is a godless land, self proclaimed by the Commander in chief Obama. He is the leader who proclaimed it and  is only one of the reasons why America is going down hill.

The bible says two things about leadership and government that come to mind.

1 timothy 2:1-2 says, “I urge, then, first of all, that petitions, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for all people— 2 for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness.

And

Jeremiah 18:7-8 says, “7 If at any time I announce that a nation or kingdom is to be uprooted, torn down and destroyed, 8 and if that nation I warned repents of its evil, then I will relent and not inflict on it the disaster I had planned.”

 This is where we are now in America. People are raging to fear of either one of these candidates are unfit, for whatever reason.

I am not a supporter of either candidate. But if Clinton can do the job and keep her health in good standings then she should have a shot at it. If she needs a break give it to her don’t be the one who calls her out because of illnesses. If the truth be known there is lots of leaders in The Government that have illnesses and still are able to do there job same as the everyday Joe.

I am sure there is one person at your job or school that has an issue, but is still able to work.

And if you still think that that person should not be working. You are issuing Stigma! And should be ashamed of yourself.

Breakfast with Francis

(Note: I have sat on this leaving it alone and have not read this until tonight, Sept. 17th, 2016. I still have recurrences of this dream both in the day and at night.)

Dream from Feb. 13, 2016

It all began with a bus ride with Bernie sanders and his election staff. I was allowed on as a member of the media. I got bold and asked Bernie a few questions he obliged. The question that stands out is this one: But Bernie aren’t you afraid that with your Socialism take on the democracy that it will turn the U.S. into a communist country?”

He turned to me with genuine concern, “That won’t happen Socialism in its purity is almost divine in nature. It will help one another and see us through this most difficult time in America’s life.”

I then found myself in a theater on the front row of a theater. I did not see the face of the Republican nominees. But as I was talking with the man, a group of Secret Service Men gathered around us to take this nominee away. I was literally in a state of fear. This man I felt was going to be the next Pres. of the U.S.- and it was not a good thing.

I quickly went back to Bernie Sanders and said, “You have alot to do Bernie, if you want to win this election.”

He questioned as we shook hands, “I.. What now?”

“Let’s just say they have chosen their next leader.” I said as I turned to go.

He was left speechless and frozen still.

I then found myself having Breakfast with Pope Francis. We were sitting outside in the fresh air and sun shining eating and smiling and talking. We both understood each other, it was almost great fellowship. Then the sky grew dark, I looked over his shoulder and I was carried away in spirit only to St. Peter's Basilica and saw a large group of Cardinals carrying a man dressed in White with a crown on his head of Gold and Platinum. His robe was blood lined inside and the fray was also blood.

As they carried him he rose in the air floating to as tall as the St. Peter's statue.

I went back to Francis and said “it's here”, he said, “Oh yes it is here”

Neither of us were surprised, I grabbed his hand as he laid his fork down from eating. I prayed that this man was Saved, delivered and healed and ready to go.

We were swooped to Israel. We were arm in arm followed what seemed like protectors. We were on a highway in Israel with the newly formed ductwork over it. We had crosses in our hands and were picking them up as Luke 9:23 says.

We were singing God’s praises. Arm in arm we were the two witnesses.

then was thinking back of a meeting we had had with Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama, some others that included by government people and State Officers from the past that are now dead.

I was with my son Michael and we were in a bus that was being driven by an independent running for President of the U.S.

She was driving way too fast almost seemed like purposely. We skidded on the ice and we flipped Mike and I grabbed hold of the arms of the seat we were sitting in and were unharmed as rolled and rolled and rolled.

We were okay unharmed, Mike and I went to the other passengers. One by one we helped up and out of the mangled bus, All were unharmed. No matter what the lady bus driver/Ind. nominee did to us trying to hurt us, we were all unhurt and praising God for it.

We all I guess were taken into this festival area where loads of fruit was being given out when the Bus driver, face now full of anger. I was sitting in a bench up against the wall, she lunged at me finger in my face her body pushing me down onto the bench/pew. You interviewed Bernie, and ----- (Whoever the Republican candidate was) and you didn’t interview ME!!! She slapped me, Obama saw this and pulled her away.

I got up to go when I was stopped by Hillary Clinton and the former Secretary of state for George Bush I can’t remember  her name.  They were arguing when Hillary screamed, “What does it matter? Her opinion doesn't make any since she’s dead.”

This brought me back to Francis and I with our protectors walking into Jerusalem. Singing and praising God.

A few thing that were boldly shown to me:

Francis hands were dirty at breakfast as I grabbed them

The man who was being lifted up and then levitated across the Basilica was the antichrist. The whole world was in awe as he flew up to the point of the Stature of Peter and what seemed like destroyed the statue. He raised his hands up receiving the praises of the people around him

His face was ashen, pale, and his hair Red beard red and his eyes was closed. It was spooky.

The woman Hillary Clinton was speaking of was Madeleine Albright

The song we were singing was Matt Redmans  Lord, Let Your Glory Fall

My thoughts i am working out still:

The Antichrist was unseating Francis as Pope. and was in the beginning of his rise to Leader of the world. If he wasn’t The antichrist then it could have been the beginning of the false prophet who will lead the world into worshipping the antichrist.

This dream was so vivid. It was much different from my other dreams. My usual dreams don’t include color this one did. I don’t usually feel in my dreams but in this one I could feel Francis's dirty hand. i could feel the fear in the eyes of the independent black woman running for president. I could feel the anger in her eyes and most importantly i felt her slap.

One part i forgot to jot down was when I was leaving before I got stopped by Hillary Clinton I saw an area that was built up like a stage i saw Obama and this woman who slapped me dancing together like Obama did on the Ellen Show.

There has been too much trifling with Jehovah Archibald Brown,

The Champion

You never forget the first times. Like the first time you ate ice cream that was so good, or that first time you see the mountains. I will never forget the first time I heard “The Champion” by Carman.

The Champion - Carman

I grew up in the Muhammad Ali era. I remember the fights that he had with Larry Holmes. I remember Sugar Ray Leonard and the new guy named Evander Holyfield. Boxing was one of two sports that was my main entertainment, besides Football, loved the Cowboys.

But there was just something about Boxing that I loved. You never knew what was to be expected. Some fights were one or two rounds and then you have ones lie Ali’s last match that went on for  ten rounds. I do not remember one draw, not even the local fights in Tulsa Convention Center in the 80’s that my brother and I went to with one of his friends, Tony Garcia a local middle weight boxer/ bus driver at the time.

So with all this in my life seeing these fights in 1985 I heard for the first time this song that started with the eighties style ominous synthesizer minor key. The song  was The Champion, I heard it on the local Christian radio station KXOJ, at the time it was owned and run by a Christian man and they only excepter donation to keep the radio stations going.

I was hushed in awe. So much so my brother decided to buy the Champion for me on Record, I still have I believe. I listened to it and learned to love other songs like, “Saved, Delivered and Healed”, “Fear not my child”, well all of them. I played the album until I had all the songs memorized. It’s really cool now my kids know these songs and they like Carman’s songs as much as I do.

“The Champion” came to me at a time when I was still trying to grasp the importance of the sacrifice Jesus made on the cross. I mean I knew the story, the wisdom of it for the deliverance of our sins. He became sin on the cross so we could live and not go to hell. I knew it but it wasn’t until this song I learned the Love and heart of what God gave us.

It was then in 1985 I learned that Love God has for us. And that we can see modern symbolism in songs and learn that we learn from these ways as well as The parables Jesus taught us by; modern day parable set to music, if you will.

It’s a great memory I have, and it has taught me that Jesus is the Champion and no one NO ONE will unseat this Champion in my life.

Thanks

Kevin

His name is Holy Spirit

But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you. John 14:26

Through the evening yesterday, I was scrolling twitter and I came across a tweet. which read:

"You can have the Holy Spirit inside of you and never use it"

I underlined the word ‘it’ they did not. I have been taught through the bible that the Holy Spirit is the third of the Trinity of God. My dad reminded me lots of times that The Holy Spirit is a person not an it, correcting me when I used to say ‘it’ instead of He. It is important that we have a grasp of who He is, Who the Holy Spirit really is.

First Scripture is above when Jesus mentions Him. Jesus said, “...the Father will send in my name, HE…”

Jesus proclaimed that The Holy Spirit is a person HE!

Next we have Luke 12:10 -12 which reads, “10 And everyone who speaks a word against the Son of Man will be forgiven, but the one who blasphemes against the Holy Spirit will not be forgiven. 11 And when they bring you before the synagogues and the rulers and the authorities, do not be anxious about how you should defend yourself or what you should say, 12 for the Holy Spirit will teach you in that very hour what you ought to say.” (emphasis mine)

If The Holy Spirit is a thing, then how can it teach. So this is another example of Jesus’ proclamation of The Holy Spirit as a person.

All  through Acts we see Him, The Holy spirit, in action:

• In Peters in Acts 4
• In Stephen in Acts 7
• In Paul(Saul) in Acts 8 and 9
• In Acts 10: 38 Peter said of Jesus being anointed with the Holy Spirit and power- explaining that the two are different

1. Person- The Holy Spirit

2. A thing- Power from God

• In Acts 13 He sent them… (Barnabas, Simeon and others)
• In Barnabas’ letter in Acts 15 saying what The Holy Spirit said to Him about what to abstain from (sin). He, the Holy Spirit is a teacher.

The one that stands out to me in my morning study of The Holy Spirit, is in Acts 16:

“6 And they went through the region of Phrygia and Galatia, having been forbidden by the Holy Spirit to speak the word in Asia. 7 And when they had come up to Mysia, they attempted to go into Bithynia, but the Spirit of Jesus did not allow them.”(emphasis mine)

This clearly teaches us that not only is the Holy spirit a person it is THE Spirit of Jesus, The Spirit of God.

John 14: 1,8-11  “Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me. 8 Philip said to him, “Lord, show us the Father, and it is enough for us.” 9 Jesus said to him,“Have I been with you so long, and you still do not know me, Philip? Whoever has seen me has seen the Father. How can you say, ‘Show us the Father’? 10 Do you not believe that I am in the Father and the Father is in me? The words that I say to you I do not speak on my own authority, but the Father who dwells in me does his works. 11 Believe me that I am in the Father and the Father is in me, or else believe on account of the works themselves.”

Since The Father and Son are one, and the Holy spirit is The Spirit of Jesus, then The Holy Spirit is a He not an it. Make sure to keep this clear when teaching.

Thanks

Kevin

My plans

I have been re-reading Francis Chan's "Crazy love". He says in it "I get nervous when I think how we've missed who we are suppose to be." And I know there is something wrong.

For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
    neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.

For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
    so are my ways higher than your ways
    and my thoughts than your thoughts.

Isaiah 55:8- 9 (ESV)

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord,plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

Jeremiah 29:11(ESV)

Many have seen me and Dee try. We go into the church on Sunday morning a bit early, along with the band and get set up to record. Then later in the week some see us working Tue. or Wed. sitting at the desk at edit until the sermon is edited down to what sounds complete and good. It is always a pleasure to record and then later edit down listening to the sermon a second time. It’s always easy to get a good sermon, when you have Holy Spirit filled men like we do at WellSpring Bible Church.

But I knew something was wrong inside. I kept on recalling a memory back to when I was working with Mike Harris at KDOR-TV 17 “The All-American Network; subsidiary of The Trinity Broadcasting Network. I remember when The stations, at the time owned by Sonny Arguinzoni   and Nikki Cruz, were sold back to TBN. This was a great time personally for me and Dee, we were expecting our fourth child, we had rumblings that All-American Network may become its own network without TBN, so we were thinking of trafficking 24 hrs a day 7 days a week programming.

Then the news came we were sold for a profit of eighty plus Million dollars to TBN. My hours went down, my colleagues moved to different employment. And the station was going to have a new General Manager from TBN, to say the least things went downhill from there.

As a newer employee at the TV station, I had my hopes set that this would be the one big break for me to spread my wings and fly, to set off on a new venture. I told my manager Mike Harris, and great brother in Christ, that I was scared, mad, and didn’t know what to do. Why did God allow AAN get sold and ruin all our plans. He said we may never know but know that God is in control of all things and wasn’t surprised by this news. God will make a way for all of us.

The year’s flew by it is now 16 years since I left TV Broadcasting. Last year in March of 2015. We were given an opportunity to record for WellSpring Bible Church, with the hopes of reaching more via web and social webs. It was going great at the time, but still I knew something was not right.

For months of planning and strategizing on how to market WellSpring and the Pastors there to get more views online was my only focus. Only focus! My life is not a bed of roses, I suffer from Dissociative Identity disorder (formerly called Multiple personality disorder) with this I have moments of flashback pain and memories, anxiety and depression. Some of the time I was not even able to make it out of my bedroom let alone go out to edit. And this is where I am now, I have been all week thinking about the plans i have made and now knowing there is still something wrong.

Just like my time at the TV station this is not my full potential. There is something else God has planned for me and my wife to do. It was my first thoughts as I was moving my family from Oklahoma to Alliance, Ohio in June 2012. I had a friend of mine in Tulsa say to me that I have always thought too little of myself and the limitations I put on myself is awful. And it has limited my, demeanor, my consciousness, my reality, my walk with friends and family but most of all it has placed God in a box, keeping Him safe for just me. Only allowing God to shine through others and other things staying in the background. I have been hiding the light that Jesus died for, hiding the light The Holy Spirit has been working in me.

I am blogging this to publical say that I repent of hiding the Light of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, from all  around me, all people God places in my path to shine the light of Jesus Christ to. This is my way of saying that I am going to go from this day forward where God allows me to go. I may have these mental issues, and a body that is not working with me, mainly my legs, in which I am starting physical therapy Monday the 15th of August.

It is time for me to prepare myself for them mission God has sent me here to Alliance to do. Please pray with me as we go forth on this journey.

Thanks,

Kevin  

Make a joyful noise

Today in Adult Bible Fellowship we broke down Psalm 100. Bit by bit word by word. Which is my favorite things to do in any kind of group bible study.

The first verse is a get command:  

"Make a joyful noise to the Lord"

We say this to a lot of people when they say they cannot sing. But really we haven't taken this phrase into a consideration as to what does this really mean. As I always do I open my Bible and read it and read it and listen to the other people in the group. Then as I listen to them talk I look up in the commentary as to what Dr. MacArthur had to say about it. 

Looking at my bible commentary its said to look at Psalm 66:1, so I did:

"Shout for joy to God, all the earth"

In which it reads to shout with loyalty, pay homage as in 1 Samuel 10:24:

"And Samuel said to all the people, “Do you see him whom the Lord has chosen? There is none like him among all the people.” And all the people shouted,

“Long live the king!”

The people shouted this after God showed where the hiding Saul was hidden then dragged up to Samuel and then as you see "Do you see him whom the Lord has chosen" (Side Note: read this passage again 1 Samuel 10:17-24- is it me or is Samuel trying to say something else than paying homage to Saul?)

anyway...

From looking at these three scriptures: Psalm 100:1; Psalm 66:1 and 1 Samuel 1-24; tells us that in Psalm 100 the author is telling the people to  first above anything else right now, pay homage to the King our King The Lord Our God. 

Then the rest of we read here:

Make a joyful noise to the Lord, all the earth!

    Serve the Lord with gladness!

    Come into his presence with singing!

Know that the Lord, he is God!

    It is he who made us, and we are his;

    we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture.

Enter his gates with thanksgiving,

    and his courts with praise!

    Give thanks to him; bless his name!

For the Lord is good;

    his steadfast love endures forever,

    and his faithfulness to all generations.

So the phrase, "Make a joyful noise" or as in the New American Standard Bible "Shout joyfully to the Lord" Show Homage in voice. Like when we see our favorite singer or star or as in my case my favorite Football coach when I saw him once at my bank in Oklahoma, I saw this giant of a guy, at least to me he was taller than I by a foot or so, So when he got closer to me outside in the parking lot I shout hello, Coach Switzer.

I acknowledge that he was there and I saw him and knew he was there.

When we are in our daily lives we must do the same. In prayer first acknowledge Him first, it may be a Praise the Lord, Hallelujah, He is Risen. In song  SHOUT To the Lord all you earth Praise His name. Forever in majesty Praise to His name. 

"give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 1 Thessalonians 5:18

from Grace Gems "My Father's Eye!"

My Father's eye!

(James Smith, "The Pastor's Evening Visit")

"Your Father who sees in secret." Matthew 6:6

Can anyone hide himself from the Lord in secret places?

Can I, under any circumstances, escape His notice?

Impossible!

The eye of God has been fixed upon me every second of this day; it is now at this moment fixed fully upon me. But it is my Father's eye! My Father sees in secret!

He sees my needs--and my woes.

He sees every secret working of my foes--and will save me from them.
He sees every secret influence which is likely to injure me--and will prevent it.

He sees . . .
  the secret workings of my heart,
  my hidden thoughts,
  my unuttered desires,
  my soul conflicts,
  my private temptations.

But He sees also my secret sins!
Every evil thought,
every unfitting word,every improper action--
passes under His eye!

Solemn consideration this!

May it make me cautious. May it preserve me . . .
  from yielding to temptation,
  from nourishing sinful thoughts, and
  from acting inconsistent with my profession.

My heavenly Father sees me!

He sees me at this moment!

He sees me every moment!

He sees my most secret motives, thoughts, and purposes!

He who thus sees me--hates every sin with an infinite hatred!
"There is no creature hidden from His sight, but all things are open and laid bare to the eyes of Him with whom we have to do!" Hebrews 4:13

Long intermission

Hello,
       So this is an old blog of mine that I am going to start using again. it has been a long time coming too. After my long intermission I find myself more focused. Although I still have my demons that I am constantly fighting I know the path ahead of me is paved by God, we are promised that in Psalm 150:105 "Thy Word is lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path." Though God's word is the only way I could have gone through these last four years.
        Speaking of that, This month and June marks the four year anniversary of my family and I moving from Tulsa, Oklahoma to Alliance, Ohio. I remember how full our little apartment front room was. As it filled from the far corner to the middle of the room to the other  corner near the sliding glass window near the dining area. We as a family had limited options to sit. It was cozy and a well learned lesson on pre-planning.
        We were out of room to live, to do anything inside the apartment, the kids were out of school about the middle of May we were just packing and waiting for what we dubbed, "The Big Move" Day. We were anxious, we were impatient and we were getting on each others nerves, but we survived by Praying and reading the Bible. When we did this the days seemed to float by. I just wish now looking back that we, my wife and I had started that on day one of filling up the front room.
        The move itself seemed to go smooth although it started raining on us the last hour of loading the truck, it didn't start down pouring until after we got everything inside the truck.  It was a God thing for sure.
         I remember those 1000 miles we drove was filled with conversations with my kids and mom and texting on my phone, my kids actually typing I would just tell them what to say to my wife, who was driving our van behind the moving truck, just to clear that up. We would say oh wow what is that. Isn't that a nice view and oh no, what is that smell, when we drove by a pig farm in Missouri.
        In the quiet times when the kids would get bored and go to sleep, i would pray to God for the path ahead and guide us to Alliance in Safety. I would also do a lot of praising God for things just to keep the line of communication with God through the Holy Spirit, especially at 2 in the Morning when we got to St. Louis, the road were dark and I was getting sleepy and still had two hours until we got to the hotel, God kept me awake.
        That is my God!
        He told us through His word that he has a plan and purpose for our lives. Romans 8:28 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." and in Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. This was on my mind from December 25th, 2011 the day we as a family after five months of praying and talking together, all came to the same conclusion that this is God's will for us to go to Alliance, Ohio.
        It is still in my heart and still lay claim to these verses in my life here four years later.
It has been a short time it feels just like yesterday that we were pulling into our home on Main street here in Alliance. It also has been tough for me personally, after following a few events that I will speak about later, I found myself in the office of a  therapist, one thing I promised myself I would never do. There I was though, She is a friend of several people I had met in my first year here, and was trusted. This is when everything seemed to just fall apart, but in hindsight I see that God used this time from July 2013 to August 2014, as time for God to answer a prayer that I made with Him several years ago that I repeatedly prayed to Him. That prayer was For God to show me the 'root' of my problems that I had the mental anguish that lead to physical ills and limitations. (Which I will also tell about in later blog posts.)
        To end tonight this post though I want to share something that has been a walking pattern the last four years. I went to Adult Bible Fellowship this morning and Phil our teaching Pastor at WellSpring Bible Church, located at The Carnation City Mall, was teaching Psalm 139. If you know this Psalm then you know that King David the author, wrote "Where can I go from your Spirit? if I go to the Heavens you are there If I make my bed in the depths you are there." from vs. 7-8. What a wonderful reminder that there is nowhere that God is not here.  Phil said that, this is a tremendously good thing, this is a tremendously terrifying thing as well, something to that. That sums up me to a tee. I have done things that I have done things that I am not proud of. And think back at that and think of God you saw that, He sees everything he saw what we were in for before, during and as it was going to happen the last four years. And now for good and for bad I am so grateful.
         So, this blog is reopened and I hope you like what you read let me know here or on Twitter or Facebook.