10 Ways To Boost Your Self Esteem

10 Ways To Boost Your Self Esteem

By Kevin Drew Woodson

In 2013, I learned a valuable lesson about mental illness; it's not other people's problems, it can affect anyone. It affected me. I was diagnosed with Anxiety and depression as symptoms of a major mental health issue, Dissociative Identity Disorder.

When I got the news I was devastated. I didn’t know what to do, but my therapist did, she sent me to group therapy sessions. It was here when I heard and read for the first time ways to help my self-esteem when nothing else seems to help.

Here are 10 of them not in any particular order just as I recall them:

1. Self-talk- try to change the way you phrase things. Example: when you find yourself say negatives like “I’m sorry” or “my fault” or my biggy, “I’m an idiot” think on way to change them to “Thank you” for example. Instead of saying I’m sorry for being late. You could say, “Thank you for waiting patiently for me.” There is no need to voice aloud your misgivings. When I was constantly saying that I’m stupid or an idiot, I remember to stop, take a breath and say to myself that everyone makes mistakes, no one is perfect.
2. Don’t compare yourself to others- Or listen to negative influential speech. We all have the ability within us to choose what to believe. We all have negative influences in our lives, choose what to say or think and what not to say or think. Unfortunately, there are people who choose to tell us what to do and when to do it. Everyone heals differently, don’t expect to heal mentally at the same rate as anyone around you, or people you read about.
3. Perfection- When you start to see positive things happening to you, revel in those and don’t get upset with yourself when you don’t reach the goals you put in front of you. Be patient with yourself. This leads to...
4. Written goals- Think about what and where you want to be in five weeks(or a time period that is good for you). I did this, but I set goals that were far fetched. Be simple in these, if you have trouble just getting up in the morning, write down “wake up in the morning”, awake and get out of bed the first time you walk up. Don’t stay in bed thinking about the things going bad in your life. Having a set of positive goals will help you focus on the positives.
5. Get rid of the should’s- This one comes from personal experience. The lead therapist at the group meeting, said this, “Kevin, rid yourself of the shoulds” You are shoulding yourself to death. I would say to her and daily, “I should know better than to act like that” or “I shouldn’t get so angry”  So I learned and still am learning to stop the shoulds and live for the moment, if you make a mistake don’t live there, and move on, don’t should on yourself, don’t beat yourself up when you make a mistake.
6. Do things you love- I love playing video games, singing, writing, and cooking. So for the past few years I have chosen to do these activities and thanks to my pastor at church, I now enjoy going to the coffee shop he opened and talking to him and other great people for a couple of hours. Each of us have our love’s that we like to do. Have some fun and choose happiness.
7. Volunteering - is a way to start getting out and about again, after having been in a low place mentally volunteering helping others is a great way to boost your own life.
8. Exercise- is great for the body and mind. Starting out small like walking around the house, then outside in the yard, then building up to the neighborhood and then the gym is a great way to outwardly show yourself the mentally you are moving forward.
9. Change your friends and family- When you find yourself getting better, but still find your friends around you and sometimes family, are still negatively affecting your mental growth to good health, you may have to find others who are going to be good for you. Like me, I changed churches, found a group of veterans at the coffee shop who are in a positive state of mind. It’s not easy, but think of your life on a road of changes and this is one thing that will help you stay on the straight path to good mental health.
10. Don’t be afraid to be happy- One thing that can happen to us as we move forward is that we look back at where we were. At times we see where we are now, then start to feeling sorry for ourselves. We start thinking, “I lost a lot of time due to this mental illness.” and the like. Don’t be afraid to be happy. When you choose to change the way you are and seek help to boosting your self-esteem, be happy you worked so hard in making your life better.

These are only a few of the many self-helps we can choose to get moving to a more healthy mental life. Be prepared for side effects to these and any other top 10’s for bettering yourself. One of many side effects is, the way you look at yourself. In a few months or years of choosing to boost your self-esteem, moving forward in a more positive light, you won’t recognise the new you, enjoy yourself and get to know the knew you as you never look back at the old you.