in going back...

With everything I have been through and all that has been brought to light about the Southern Baptist Churches, I have been going through the bible again in more detail than I ever have before. In the past I would take the verses as I have been taught and left it at that, leaving any questions in my mind as false narratives and those of the devil (yeah I know thats weird) but that is what I came to believe about doubt in teachers through the decades of ultra-right teachings. 

In going back to the basics belief i have found something that I never put much thought into before. John 5:41 which says, " I receive not honour from men." (KJV). In the NIV which many preachers teach out of in the SBC, it reads, "i do not accept glory from human beings." I have been lead to believe that honour and glory is always meaning worship, but when in investigating of that word in in the Strong's you get this:

 It is much more than that. Partially it is glory but it stems from personal opinions. Everything we say and think is based on our own opinions, even praise to God and our knowledge of the bible. That is why we get one preacher saying scripture means this and another preacher saying that scripture  says something completely different, thus, confusion arises. That has been my problem all my life since i had one grandmother as a SBC teacher and the other Grandmother a full gospel Methodist, really not an oxymoron it really is a thing, teaching me two different beliefs systems in the same belief called Christianity. 

So, today we have a group of Christian's that believe that religion and politics go hand in hand, basically trying to Make America a Theocracy so we call them Christian Nationalist. The other group of Christians believe in what John 13:34 says, "I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another."(NRSVUE). So which one is the truth. i take the words of Jesus as True gospel. 

This word by Jesus was talking to the Pharisees and all who were trying to kill him. But does it just stay there to thee pharisees? Not from what I am reading. It seems that it means anyone who "do not have the love of God" (John 5:42) in them. And that concept has been alive everyday since what Jesus said. 

Today we have Christian nationalist in the congress and senate that is trying to change America into this Theocracy, meaning to lead the Nation as what is said in the Bible. But they are using things from the bible out of context. using Leviticus 18:22 and 20:13 to try to wipe out the LGBTQIA+, and using Exodus 20:13 Do not murder to end abortions. 

People stand at Planned Parenthood and yell hatred to those entering. Supposed Christians yell racial slurs and homophobic chants to the lgbtqia+ everywhere in person and online. This is not spreading "gods word" this is spreading their own opinion, their own glory, their own praise based on their own feelings not of Jesus. 

Jesus command is to love one another as He loved you, love one another! 

Many will use the old adage that they are spreading God's word and love by quoting the scriptures and by telling the truth of what sin is, taking scripture out of context and using a form of Christianity that promotes, hate, money and politics as the main reason in being a Christian. When in actuality we should do as Jesus did eat with anyone who is willing to have him come into his/her house like Matthew, Zacharias, and many others who did  not fit the cookie cutter Pharisee. Jesus was followed by many people who were not deemed worth to be called worthy of the pharisaical belief, like Mary Magdalen and the Samaritan lady in John 4 who had many husbands and the one she was living with was not her husband, did  Jesus condemn her, no he offered living water to her. He didn't say to change your ways he said:

Jesus said to her, “Woman, believe me, the hour is coming when you[g] will worship the Father neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem. 22 You[h] worship what you[i] do not know; we worship what we know, for salvation is from the Jews. 23 But the hour is coming and is now here when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for the Father seeks such as these to worship him. 24 God is spirit, and those who worship him must worship in spirit and truth.” 25 The woman said to him, “I know that Messiah is coming” (who is called Christ). “When he comes, he will proclaim all things to us.” 26 Jesus said to her, “I am he,[j] the one who is speaking to you.” John 4:21-26

Her he said that she must believe in Him and that He is the messiah and confirmed that one day that true worshippers will worship the Father in spirit and truth. What truth is it: The new command i give you, said Jesus: 

"I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another."(NRSVUE)

Love one another not hate by telling everyone that they are going to hell. Jesus said in John 3:17, "God did not send the Son into the world to condemn the world but in order that the world might be saved through him." This world that Jesus was using is said to be in the Strong's concordant:

Like the CREATION That's everyone people. There is not rules nor stipulations added to it. World MEANS WORLD!!!

not only those who meat the Christian Nationalist beliefs as to who is in their world. it means the Gay Christians, the Christians who may have an abortions, it means Christians who may drink or take drugs but still believe that there is a God and Jesus is the messiah and still worship HIM. the world here means the unhoused people  people on Social Security and disability it means EVERYONE!!!! EVERYONE!!! Who are we to leave out anyone in the world. The truth here is that Christian Nationlist who want to leave out or wipe out the LGBTQIA+ is using their own opinion, praise and theology their god and their their beliefs not that of Jesus'. Anyone who has love for the Father, the TRUE Father not one written about my men and history and todays god that hates the true God The Father that Jesus spoke of. I cannot list all the attributes of God but the God that Jesus spoke about lived in Him and was Him we should follow His command, Love one another as He has loved you. How did Jesus love  us by dying for us and loving us enough to go to the cross die and come back to life proving he is God. (John 3:16) "For God so loved the world that he gave His only begotten son that whosoever believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life."

Love God

Love Jesus

Love Light

and 

Love one another

Peace

Kevin

The Greatest Showman Cast - This Is Me (Official Lyric Video)

Shh, peace be still, wait

 

Shh, peace be still, wait.

God’s word speaks that is what I was told for many years. Then this year in the first year of my deconstruction, I am finding out that the Bible are stories of the Life of Jesus Christ. Jesus is The Word (John 1:1). So, what does the word tell me? For many years now it seems that The Word has been silent to me. I have read almost everyday for the past 20 years, give or take a month or two. I went through the bible several times. I read commentaries like John MacArthur, Williams, Phillips, and Matthew Henry, but I was not satisfied, I felt that there was something missing. What was I missing? I did what it says in 1 Thessalonians 5:2 to test everything. I also did as it says in Jude 3, “Contend earnestly for the faith which was once for all delivered to the saints" to defend the faith, later finding out the meaning of apologetics and Biblical hermeneutics and to bring light to the dark world of false teachings and preach the truth to those in need, to apply salve to their itching ears, (2 Timothy 4:3, NKJV), or ears tickled in the New Revised Standard Version. I did that last one a lot, I was constantly on Facebook and twitter telling my friends, family and followers to stay away from this pastor and that pastor and most of the televangelists because they were all frauds, not knowing that I was the true fraud.

I was a fraud because I knew that I really didn’t know anything, at all, I was just repeating stuff that I had heard from MacArthur, Friel and Comfort, if anything I was able to repeat like crazy anything that was taught. I really trusted in these men, they sound like what my parents would preach to me about TV preachers, so they must be sent by God, right? Not necessarily. They might be right about a lot of false teachers sure, but they were not right about cultural teachings, like the lgbtqia and abortion and politics. It was due to these men and many more YouTuber’s that I would watch, that drove me into the world of Christian Nationalism. They even spoke out against the democrats calling them devils and saying things like you cannot be a Christian and Democrat and that there is no such thing as a gay Christian. I was not using my own brain to learn the facts about anything, I trusted in men to tell me what to believe. It wasn’t a real life for me not at all, it was my dark days in my faith.

Then I moved out of Oklahoma and to Ohio and found other people to lead me in the word, testing my knowledge of the bible and to really find out what the scriptures say. It has been an awakening ten years for me in many ways, I found out that nothing I was doing was real. It was then when I felt like God was saying more to me than any other time in my life, through the scriptures not through men. It scared me so I backed off. I needed to really, I had to find out who I really was. So, with the encouragement from a pastor friend I went too counseling and then in to see a psychiatrist, getting a diagnosis that will be for a different entry. But it started me to work through everything in my life to start to see the real me. I stopped pretending I knew everything in the bible and start afresh and anew.  It was also a time to find the real me and to acknowledge my admiration and attraction to men. I still love my wife, I will forever so what was I? I really have like the look of men ever since high school when I saw my first naked friend. But that was sin, what the hell was I doing all these years, and why, when watching porn, was I focusing on the men instead of the woman? I would have rather watched the guys, so I started watching gay porn. So, now I had that sin on top of liking guys. I am going to hell, so I need to go back to basics I thought, so I moved to a church that would help me do that, I went to most fundamentalist church that I could find, which nearly destroyed my family and myself. I was on the verge of offing myself. So, I told my therapist, and we have been working on that, he suggested to me why I was still going to the church that made me feel so bad. So, I stopped going to that church and started to find out what I really believed in. So, in 2019 we stopped going to church and didn’t go back there nor anywhere. We did start watching a Methodist church online during covid and still do that. I am happy with watching them at this time.

Here I am in 2022, been out of church buildings since January 2019 and now have seen the real church, the people. It is the first time in my life that I am doing this life by my rules not by the fundamentalist rules, not my grandmothers rules, not by man’s rules. Trust, yeah, I don’t trust man like I did. I trust in only God through Jesus Christ from here on out.

I look back and see that God was quiet to let me work this out like the bible says, “work on your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who is at work in you, enabling you both to will and to work for his good pleasure.” (Phil 2:12-13, NRSVUV). I know that God is with me and was with me but kept silent to let me think for myself while I was utterly broken. He wasn’t completely away from me though. I could see him doing things for me, building me up to handle the stresses that came from going to that bad fundamentalist church. I could see him blessing me in many ways while I was near the brink of suicide, giving me hope. Through my wife and kids and now grandkids too, he managed to talk to my wife and build me up through her words when I needed it. I learned that he may be silent, but he is not far from you in the silence, it’s like The Holy Spirit was saying, “Shh, peace be still”.

The God Who Sees

Zach Williams - Less Like Me (Official Music Video)

Good God Almighty (Lyrics) - Crowder

Election week

Some thoughts 

     Well, its finally here,, this is the week that this strange year has been building up to, the election of the President of the United States. What will happen? Who will prevail? Will we have four more years of Trump or will Joe Biden after many attempts at trying to become President, become our 46th President of the United States?

Whoever or whatever happens, it is no surprise to God, he knows what will happen. Daniel 2:21says, "He changes the times and the seasons; He removes kings and raises up kings;"

In our world its Presidents not kings, but its the same thing. God put Trump into place as President and will place the next leader of the U.S.A. into place as well, why, only God knows. His will will always prevail over what we know and want, and we will have to trust in Him as He works, Romans 8:28, "we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose"

We need to only Trust in His decisions, not only in the election but also in all things, all will work to God's purpose for us. Trust In God, through Jesus Christ.

Kevin